I Want To Be A Daddy’s Girl

Kimspeaks up - Daddy's Girl

OH TO BE A DADDY’S GIRL

It’s been 21 years since my father passed away yet I felt from the time I was born I never knew him. I had his initials and his last name but not his heart nor his attention. Truth is: I have always wanted to be a Daddy’s girl. This has been a very sore spot in my heart that I have tried to suppress it for such a long time until now because it’s been on my mind since last night. I am furious and saddened but I must first acknowledge it before I let it go.

A few weekends ago, I heard some really sad statistics that honestly sullied my day. After 25 years of reviewing marriage and family cases, The Harvard Law Review determined that fathers were 47% more likely to divorce their wives or leave their babies’ mother if there were daughters rather than sons in the homes. When pressed by their attorneys, husbands and fathers almost always cited little to no reason to stay with the family acknowledging that the mother would better care for the daughter as it was not their responsibility and that daughters were more expensive to care for and were more an economical liability than as asset. Frankly those stats upset me greatly.

Fact: the family, the economy, and the moral fabric of society suffer when fathers do not care for their girls. The most heinous crimes committed against mankind have been committed against women.

Sons and daughters need their fathers equally.

A mother may be a rock-star as a parent but she cannot competently do the job of a father and the fact is — she should not have to.

Here’s the thing: I have been in church ALL my life and I have come to know God as Magnificent Creator, Righteous Judge, and Sovereign Ruler. I have even seen Him present in the midst of suffering and sense His comfort in the midst of loss but I have constantly struggled to accept Him and love Him as the Good Father He is.Kim Speaks up Daddy's Girl

Why? Because my initial understanding and first lesson in theology as a child on the rights and responsibilities of a father was extremely jaded due to the lack of relationship I had with my own father. I know that I am not alone in this.

Godly responsible parenting by fathers is so crucial in raising girls who know and love their Heavenly Father and who know and love themselves. Who a father is and what a father does is so central to a girl’s ability to know, trust and love God and others in her early years. Without it, we can find ourselves adrift feeling forsaken and forgotten.

Last night, I was there. I found myself sulking, reading, and writing with such a foul attitude and a heavy heart. Yet I felt the Good Father knew this.

Nestled in the scriptures without me intentionally seeking, I received the most amazing response:

“But Zion said, “The LORD has forsaken me,
the Lord has forgotten me.”
“Can a mother forget the baby at her breast
and have no compassion on the child she has borne?
Though she may forget,
I WILL NOT FORGET YOU!” – Isaiah 49:14-16

See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands!”

It’s been over 32 years from the time of my conception and God has not forgotten about me. This truth helps. I will admit that I have to remind myself of it constantly.

“Even if my father and mother abandon me, the LORD will hold me close.” Psalm 27:10

Dads, your daughters need you just as much as your sons do. Please do not ignore nor reject us and daughters even if they do reject us, Your Heavenly Father loves you wholly.

  • As a woman who has this same struggle. Same sadness. Same yearning. This spoke directly to my heart and “Because my initial understanding and first lesson in theology as a child on the rights and responsibilities of a father was extremely jaded due to the lack of relationship I had with my own father.” simply profound. I could not have said it better!
    Thanks for sharing this and sharing your heart ❤️❤️

    • Thanks so much Bijee for taking time to read it. It is a vulnerable post but one I believe a few can identify with.

  • That statistic really struck me too. A lot of the discourse focuses on fatherless boys, so wow…thanks for sharing this.

  • Kasi Perkins

    Sorry to hear about your relationship with your father, but you made an excellent point, and it is so awesome that you know that your Heavenly Father will never leave you or forsake you. Isn’t that so amazing to know?! It is important that earthly fathers are present in their daughter’s lives as well, hopefully your post will be able to inspire some. Really great and well-written post!

  • Yulunda

    Kim,

    What an honest and true reflection. God always find a way to let us know how close he is.

    I can say for certain that having had my father in my life made a significant difference. Though he had his struggles with the alcohol demon, he was always present and took great care of his girls.

    I’m grateful to God that we were not one of the families of all girls divorced by a dad.

    Praying with and for you.

    Yulunda