5 Life-Lessons Learned From My Husband That We All Can Use

5 Lessons learned from My Husband pic

Some of the most important lessons learned are the ones about oneself.

Last Sunday, my husband celebrated his birthday. We took time early that morning to reflect and discuss some of the key lessons he has learned along the way. In our 9-year journey together, I have  gleaned much from him. Some lessons have been learned through observation while others have been learned through conversation. All lessons learned have made my quality of life better. Here are 5 life lessons learned that I believe we can all use:

1. Smile More:

If you’ve ever met my Wesley, chances are you will meet him with a smile on his face. Leading studies show that greeting someone with a smile – softens his/her defenses and makes you more approachable and trustworthy.



2. Start Early:

Wesley is an EARLY morning person and as a result I find myself rising early as well. It is amazing how productive you can be  in the first 3 hours of the day while the rest of the world is asleep. It presents an awesome opportunity for personal and professional development in the midst of quiet.

3. Shave Often:

Shave, comb your hair, stay well-groomed – one of his mantras – ‘first impression is a lasting impression.’ I remember when I first met Wesley, he sported a Stetson on his head, blazer, and cowboy boots and gaudy gold belt buckle walking the halls of Atlanta Christian College. Boy, did that image stay ingrained in my mind! Did he forget we lived in Atlanta, GA and not San Antonio, TX?!?!  I knew he was someone who was secure in his skin to sport such wear in the blazing summer. Truth is – we judge others within the first 15 seconds of meeting them. It’s amazing how far his daily appearance has gotten him.


4. Stay Active:

Your health is your wealth.  One of Wesley’s greatest life values is the ability to be active. When the alarm sounds at 5.00 a.m. and the bed is oh so comfy, he chooses the hard thing and gets up because what he values most supersedes what he  desires at present. Yes, he may be the guy you will see running backward on the treadmill or jumping steps on the stair climber.  I admire his hiking, kayaking, swimming, bike riding, mountaineering adventurous ways.  This one activity has positively contributed to his ability to focus and be more disciplined in life. I admit that I am still trying to learn this lesson. Some days I succeed, many days I do not. Still working at it though.


5. Stress Less:

If you want to learn how to worry less and relax more, spend a few hours with my dear man.

Choose to manage emotions and responses instead of simply reacting to everything life throws our way. Life is meant to be lived fully – to do so we must get to know ourselves, (highs, lows, weakness, strengths) then manage accordingly.


BONUS:  Sabbath – A period of intentional rest allows us the ability to relax, reflect, and refocus. We are able to center ourselves, assess our past, and prepare for the future. Ideas rarely evolve while you’re working but form in times of quiet and rest. It is here that relationships are strengthened, creativity is spurred, and true vision is cast.  Schedule it in.

Wesley will tell you that he is far from perfect and still has lots to learn but as his friend and his wife, I can confidently say he has taught many through his life choices.


  • Brendon Best

    Great read Kim! What a way to honour your man! Loved the shave often title! I was like what?! But of course when reading it it made sense! Working on the being more active part as well! It really does give you that boost of energy and vitality! Bless you guys heaps! 🙂

    • Kimberly Bolden

      Thanks Brendon for reading and commenting! I am going to continue to add lessons learned along the way. Hope you and you wifey 🙂 have a great weekend.

  • Alexandria W. Bolden

    I am finding that #2 – Start Early, carries significant value. It never fails, on days when I push past my longings to lie in bed, I am more productive and less stressed! Thus, I feel so much better about myself, and I am in a better mood. It’s also in those early hours that we are best able to hear ourselves think and hear that still, small voice of God.

    • Kimberly Bolden

      I totally agree! Excited to see what your early mornings produce for you.

  • Christine Hawkins

    How Awesome! It looks like you both just inspire each other! I agree that if you start early, smile more often and stress less makes a total turn around on your life. Thanks for sharing!!

  • Lisa Mallis

    What a beautiful tribute to your husband! Thanks for sharing the Lion King song – you made my day! I find the hardest – yet most rewarding – of what you’ve written is #4. I also am still working on it!!!!

  • Sounds like some great rules and a great husband!

  • Amanda Marie

    Thank you for sharing! Those are some really great points about living! I always try to smile and keep a light heart!!!

  • Britney Thompson Mills

    I have been getting up early lately and that has made all the difference! Thanks for this fun post!

  • MinaJoshi5409

    Your hubby seems so disciplined. He has some good riles that he stands by. I like the idea of getting up early and staying fit. A belated happy birthday to your hubby.

  • Kristina Gargano

    This is an excellent post. I always envy my husband and his ability not to stress about every thing. Plus, you a beautiful couple!

  • I really need to work at the whole ‘getting up early’ thing. Although I’m usually out of bed by 7 during the weekdays, my first alarm goes off 35 minutes earlier, meaning that I could be doing something productive during that time. I choose to snooze instead… definitely need to work on that!

  • Beautiful post, Kimberley. 🙂 I love the first tip in particular. It’s amazing how much a smile can change someone’s day. 🙂

  • Sandra Litcher

    I could take pretty much all of those lessons from your hubby!! I am still working on trying to get up early and exercise. I find it so hard, I wish I was just a little bit as disciplined as your husband 🙂 Great post!

  • What a beautiful post and honor to your husband. Those are fabulous lessons!

  • Hannah Diane

    This is wonderful! Thank you for the post!

  • I LOVE this post! I’ve had healthy marriages on my heart lately and it’s a blessing to find a marriage that is strong, yet you’re honest about ways you work on being your best self for your spouse. It’s a pleasure to meet you through IBN and I am now a new follower! Thanks for the inspiration. I’ll be sharing and pinning this today!

  • brittany

    love this! They are so true and great!

  • Tory

    These are such great ideas! I’d like to say that pretty much anyone can learn a thing or two from your husband!

  • AJ @ NutriFitMama

    I think we can all learn a lot from your husband. Seriously, these are great things to live by. Thanks for sharing!

  • Dionne Dean

    Sounds like your husband and my husband may be in cahoots! I am SUCH a busy body and he tells me I need to give my body some rest and just chill out. You have a good man right there honey!

  • Samantha Bender

    Love this post, it’s so sweet. Y’all seem like such a great couple, and I love it. I think we can all learn to smile more, so that’s a lesson I’m taking from this post.

  • This is really nice! Sounds like you’ve got yourself a catch 😉

  • Courtney LeFan

    I love this post. And I definitely agree with the bonus tip. Sabbath is not only a religious time of rest, but also a physical and emotional time of rest. Everyone needs a break to pause and reflect on their life and I think scheduling a time of Sabbath is a perfect way to do that. Thanks for sharing.

  • Aww this is so great! And you guys make a beautiful couple!! 🙂

  • Karen Yannacio Morse

    LOVE this post! Adorable. I totally agree with his ideas…especially to smile more and stress less. Wonderful! http://www.GlamKaren.com

  • What a wonderful post! You have a great husband. I’m always making sure to put smile on my face always. But I do need to work on getting more sleep so I can wake up early.

  • ashley

    LOVE THIS! All great tips. Shave more – I def need to remember this one! hahah

  • tiff

    So beautiful!
    x Tiff (Creator & Editor-In-Chief @ http://hautemessmag.com)

  • Tipper Nicole

    These are great lessons! I’m still struggling with the self discipline, myself but I keep trying everyday. Thanks for sharing!

  • Meghan

    Great lessons indeed!

  • Great life lessons! I definitely agree. And I love that we can learn so much from our wonderful spouses.

  • Holly

    Aww that is amazing! It is great that you can take a step back and really see all the goodness someone has and helps in making you better. Seems you have a great husband.

  • Jess

    These are great! I have definitely learned from my husband the importance of starting early.

  • Jessica Rae

    Great lessons! Smile more and waking up early is a great one because they set your mood for the day. =)

  • tianna

    that’s so great that your husband has taught you so much 🙂 My boyfriend teaches me things like that all the time, too, just by living by example. You guys look great together and it’s so cool you do a lot together to stay close ♥

    stop by and chat ♥ http://StorybookApothecary.com

  • Ilona K.

    I totally agree:) I’m doing this for myself too. Staying active, getting earlier in the morning etc.

  • Steph Kat

    Sounds like a great guy! Those husbands can give great insight once and awhile!

  • These are all wonderful things to keep in mind, although I do feel a bit jealous of people who can be productive before 8 am. I’m never that lucky!

  • My husband is always full of random useful knowledge that usual – and strangely come in handy when you could have swore you would only get asked that on Jeopardy. He also is so calm, steady, and positive – i’m just a little twitchy worry wort…He for sure rubs off on me. I knew that I needed to marry this man when he brought out the good and no the bad!

  • Ariana Fotinakis

    These are great lessons! Sounds like you have quite the husband 🙂 I really think that being active is the key to living a long and happy life! 🙂

  • What a fabulous idea for a post! I love the idea of learning from your husband! 🙂

  • Jamie Yonash

    He sounds like a gem…several of those are things that my husband also does!!

  • Nadeen

    Gosh I love this!! All things that I am striving for and so awesome that your husband is such a great influence! I am getting married in September and I have already been inspired to do better in so many ways by my fiance. Oh And I love the LION KING!!

  • Don’t you just hate it when your husband is always right? I know I do, ha ha…

  • That’s great. I wish my husband would learn to work out more and shave! But, I’ve learned patience from him. And kindness.

  • Mega C

    I love all of the lessons. They are definitely ones to live by.

  • Tara Joy

    I have definitely found that starting early is the key to a productive day! Maybe not as early as 5 AM to work out, I do have a toddler who wakes me up at 7 and I get going from there!

    This was such a sweet post of the things you admire and recognize about your husband! I bet he loved it!

  • Lauryn Lasko

    It sounds like you have a smart husband!!

    xo, Lauryn| Lauryncakes blog

  • What a great post! I hope you never stop learning from each other 🙂 also I think you both have beautiful smiles.


  • These are great tips. You can always learn so much for your husbands.

  • What a great post. I bet this made your husband’s day. Thanks for sharing.

  • Robyn

    Love the starting early tip!!! So smart 🙂


  • Caroline Barnes

    Well happy birthday to your husband! I agree with everything in your post especially to wake up early part. I’m up between 4:00 and 5:00 during the week and 6:00 on weekends and gives me the change to do more in the morning so I can relax and enjoy my afternoons. 🙂

  • Jazmine

    I think these are some great lessons, thank you for sharing them. Stress less is something I am still trying to work on.

  • I love that you are sharing positive things about your husband! That is so encouraging to see and a wonderful way to build him up! Husbands do have a way of teaching us important lessons. It is one of the beautiful things about marriage. I recently wrote a blog on 10 Things I Love About My Husband: http://www.theengagedhome.com/10-things-i-love-about-my-man/