Quick To Listen & Slow To Speak – Part 3

kim Speaks Up - mastering ur thoughts part II

I hope you guys and gals have been enjoying the Quick to Listen & Slow To Speak Series. If you are visiting my blog for the first time you can go here and here for the first two installments. Today I will be sharing 12 more practical tips to help master our thoughts to ensure a great quality of life for us and those around us.

Mastering Our Thoughts takes full intentionality. If we do not control them, they will control us. We need a practical plan to ensure we do not make fools of ourselves and enemies with others.


 

 Here are 12 Practical Tips for Mastering Your Thoughts

Change Your company/ Walk away –  Let’s admit it. We all have those people in our circle that bring out the worse in us. You know them. They may be the ones you call on — when you need to get away from the harsh realities of life and have some ‘fun’. The ones that will let you do what you want when  you want regardless of the consequences – You know the ones. They breed ideologies that many times go against the morals and beyond the guard rails you have set for your life.  You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. Beware of those persuade you to do wrong.  If this is you,  it may be time to change your circle of influence. It will be hard — but walk away.

Change the station – If the tv station, radio station, streaming station, or podcasts are influencing your thoughts, words, and actions in adverse ways, it may very well be time to nix them.

Adopt the H.A.L.T Principle – To ensure your make wise decisions and healthy choices, avoid making any plans and entering serious conversations while you are hungry-angry-lonely-tired. Seek to devise a contingency response when you sense these emotions arising. For more on the HALT Principle, go here.HALT Principle

Write things down – Jotting down your feelings and thoughts about any scenario helps you to both gauge the present situation and respond responsibly. It helps you to further decipher between truth and emotions. When others give instruction, it bodes well for us to immediately write it down. This simple but effective exercise can help you distinguish what was said from what you think was said.

Invest in creativity – Do not let boredom and idleness get the best of you. I am sure you have heard the sayings:

Harness the gifts and skills that have been given to you and make the most of them. Whether it be drawing, painting, singing, public speaking, calligraphy, woodworking. Invest in the areas of creativity for the good of yourself and humanity. It’s amazing how positive actions can affect your thought life.

Kim Speaks Up - whatever you do, do well

 

Invest in others – I firmly believe that when we invest in the well-being of others, our thoughts align as well. Seeking opportunities to do good require us to think excellent things, powerful things, life changing things. A constant reminder that there is more to life than you once envisioned. This keeps us grounded and humble.

Change your view – There are times you must change your environment and times where you must change your perspective. Both require a change of view. You will be surprised how an adjustment in both physical and mental space can alter your outlook for the better. Seek places and spaces that promote positive thinking.

Create a routine – A schedule can change your life. An intentional practical life plan consisting of healthy habits is a surefire way to affect the way you think. Take some time to assess your daily routine and the thoughts that are associated with them. Are these activities life-giving or life-taking? What present activities promote positive thought?

Kim Speaks Up - Watch Your Thoughts by Frank Outlaw

Sober up – Do not be given to drunkenness or excess. An over-consumption of alcohol/stimulants/depressants affects one’s abilities to think clearly. If you struggle, please seek professional help.

Look up: Seek out an eternal perspective for all things temporary. We must remind ourselves of the reality that the things we become so fixated on will not last forever but will depreciate and decay with time and age. There is more to life than the things we own. Do not let these things own you.

De-clutter your life – Generate a habit of removing the excess from your life. Clean spaces, places, diets, lifestyles, and relationships make for a clear conscience and a healthy view of self.

Commit to Truth – Devote yourself to hearing, reading, speaking, seeing, and living truth.  Become vulnerable to cross-examination. Allow God to examine your mind and your motive. Let Him reveal to you the blind spots, lies, and areas of struggle that seek to dominate your thought life. In Psalm 139:4, David, one of the kings in the life of early Israel, said: ‘You know what I am going to say even before I say it, LORD.‘ This can be an embarrassing reality or a comforting one. God knows exactly what we are going to say before we say. He knows every thought that consumes our grey matter – The light-hearted, serious, funny, sordid, seeded, and embarrassing details. Allow God to dispel the lies and lead you towards truth. When truth is revealed, seek to embody it and live it out.


 I challenge you to apply these practical tips to every thought to ensure victory in your thought life.

Kim - Speaks Sig

  • Sharon Ulery Ruggieri

    Those are great and make so much sense. Once I learned to walk away from the bad and the junk people and stuff in my life, I got so much more joy in my life.

  • “Change the station” was so key for me. So many songs, tv shows, etc. that I had kept over from teenage and young adult years, but which held me back from growing past some of those issues!

  • Love this Ms. Kim! So helpful and I definitely needed to hear these. Can’t wait to see tomorrow’s post!. Let me just share this REAL QUICK. ALSO CAN I JUST SAY THAT YOUR HAIRCUT IS ABSOLUTELY STUNNING? :O

  • naturalsara

    Very helpful and informative. Thanks for sharing. I’ve tried some of these methods before.

    Sara @ naturalsara.com

  • Kim Byars Croisant

    I absolutely love your 12 practical tips, especially the Look Up and De-clutter your life. I need to read this everyday!! Thank you.

  • Seeking an outside perspective is a “must”, so I liked the “look up” advice.

  • Kori

    This is really great advice. I’m torn though, sometimes I want to just speak my mind and then other times I realize that it can get me into a bit of trouble.

  • Jeanine @ sixtimemommy.com

    I love this! what great and smart advice! This is very helpful!

  • These are all incredibly sound pieces of advice. I, for one, am terrible at starting things with my husband about cleaning, finances, etc. when I’m tired–I’m going to watch out for that!

  • These are great! I really need to work on the HALT. I always say the wrong things when I’m hungry and tired and angry. My hubby calls it “Hangry”. Thanks for the great advice.

  • I Love “HALT”. I get, “HANGRY” when hungry too Brandi! lol… I need to remember to keep my mouth shut until I can put some food in it. Thanks for sharing!

  • Maria Hass

    I love it! I pinned it for personal reference. This is good, solid, practical, Biblical advice! Following!

  • This is fantastic and really perfect for daily living. I know the change in view does wonders for me sometimes.

  • Tipper Nicole

    I’m currently practicing the HALT principle. I’ve noticed that I avoid a lot of unnecessary arguments with my husband when I do! I’m able to speak calmly and rationally… and then we can get back to our day!

  • jonbonjovious

    this is such a great post. I love the HALT theory and how powerful is that sentence You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.

  • Lou

    Great list! I have been trying to meditate for 10 minutes every day and this is helping me tremendously as well.

  • beautiful tips. <3

  • Julie

    Ooh, I really like the HALT principle. I’m thinking about making a sign for my kitchen that says ‘I’m sorry for what I said when I was hungry’.

  • These are great tips. I especially like the one about walking away. I have to start practicing it more often

  • Mama to 5 Blessings

    This is my biggest problem, I am too fast to speak. I get into more trouble with my mouth!

  • Nancy Laws

    Hi Kim, thanks for sharing, to turn my life around I had to change the company I keep and it was challenging but has truly transformed my life…thanks for this! #Sharing #brownbloglove

  • I truly believe we all have the power to change just by thinking positive =)

  • *M* from K&M

    I found all of these to be so helpful and such good reminders! We fall into ruts with how we think and that can really bring us down.

  • Dana Brillante-Peller

    I agree with you…I have had some people come into my life that I had to separate myself from, although it was very hard. Their negativity just brought me down. I love this series – thanks for sharing!!

  • It’s hard at first to cut relationships that have lasted for years, but toxicity isn’t worth it. I really like the HALT method!

  • Thank you for posting this. Wish I’d had it 7 years ago.

  • I can see that you have given so much thought to this and curated the best advice you could think of. Investing in others is really a good thing to do and this morning that’s what resonated for me.

  • What a wonderful series — I am going to have to check out the first two posts. These are all amazing tips!

  • These are such great tips! I wish more people would be quick to listen and slow to speak! I myself need to take more time to invest in others honestly. Sometimes things get so busy and hectic that I don’t realize that I need to slow down and connect!

  • Justine Y

    It’s so true about changing your circle of friends and being able to walk away! I also really love the HALT principle and agree wholeheartedly. My husband and I definitely use that when we’re having heated discussions. 🙂

  • These are excellent tips! It’s so true that sometimes just walking away (in the moment or permanently) from a toxic person or situation can really help change our thoughts. When I’m having negative or critical thoughts, turning to Scripture and seeking God’s character in the situation really does help soften my heart to what’s going on and often changes my thoughts/attitude.

  • Keianna

    I find the God uses the people I love the most to test me on His Word. I promise I had to use several of your tips just this morning when my significant other pressed ALL the wrong buttons. I have to remind myself over and over that I bring about what I think about and I try REALLY hard to fix my thoughts on what is Holy. Thanks for a great post!

  • Thank you so much for the tips. I’m going to check out the first two posts in this series as well. I need to commit to de-cluttering my life.

  • harrietb

    I am always changing the channel- especially when one of those annoying commercials come on.

  • Clarissa Sidhom

    There’s a lot of wisdom in this post. Especially love the HALT technique!! 🙂

    (Clarissa @ Authentic Womanhood)

  • Ehi @onewomanfulfilled

    You’ve spoken up very well Kim! You’re so on point on every point. As a man thinks, so is he. You’ve made it easy for one to consciously focus on what she is thinking about to create the future of her destiny.

  • Ive never heard of HALT but OMG I need to forward this to my husband. For some reason we always discuss things when Im either hungry or tired and it never ends well…

  • Kassie

    This is a great post! One of my favorites I’ve read this week! I definitely need to work on mastering my thoughts!

  • Clare Speer

    Wow – I love these practical truths – many of them I am still learning, some I have learned the hard way! Walking away from certain people – but I certainly especially your thoughts on giving of yourself and to others – that truly helps us all be less selfish! Thanks for your wonderful thoughts!

  • Lenze

    These are all great tips. I have to say sometimes it is hard to change company when it is someone you have to work with.

  • Laura Prater

    Wonderful tips! I know some I am still earning and growing in. I for sure need to work more on mastering my thoughts.

  • Christine Hawkins

    I love your posts! So inspirational. I pinned this to keep all of it mind! Thanks, as always for sharing!

  • Britney @ Princess & Cowboys

    These are some awesome tips! I know that de-cluttering is a big focus of mine lately!

  • Saving Common Cents

    “Chang the Station” is a brilliant suggestion. Sometimes I hear the news in the background on tv and just have to change the channel. If it’s a depressing news story and just full of ambivalent negativity…it’s time to change it up!

  • I like the HALT principle. Except I would never be able to talk to anyone since most times of the day I am any one of those 4.

  • Andie Williams

    The HALT principle is a rule of thumb for me! What a detailed and well-thought out post (: I’m so glad I stopped by. I’d love a visit back at http://www.andieconn.com/six-months-terminal-reality/ ! I love making blogging buddies (:

  • Tara Joy

    I so needed to read this today! All of these are so true! I have been pushing off memorizing verses because I am not very good at it, but I have finally decided to sit down and memorize verses (that speak to me) starting in Matthew and working my way through the gospel. Matthew 5 is the first! I am going to replace my inner voice with Gods truth!

  • Lauryn Lasko

    Yes! I agree that when life feels cluttered, it can be hard to feel happy!

  • Rosevine Cottege

    What a blessing, thank you!

  • geanine

    I try my best to see the happiness in every aspect of our days, even when life is handing us lemons.

  • Laura

    Great tips! I have not heard of the HALT principle…but I like it! 🙂 “Look up” is my favorite. We can never go wrong when we gain wisdom from the Lord.

  • Camesha

    Great tips! This is my first time hearing of HALT. It makes complete sense!

  • Pamela Firestine Beaune

    I love this! I always enjoy finding blogs with the same content that I write about. I look forward to reading more from you!
    http://www.freeselfliving.com

  • Lindsey Gage

    First time I’ve heard of the HALT principle. When I think back in poor decisions or senseless arguments they pretty much all fall under one of those four words. Applying that moving forward!

  • Fantastic tips. I haven’t heard of the HALT principle before this. This is definitely a post I’ll be sharing with my husband as well.

  • Chrystal M.

    Great tips. I really need to get on that HALT project. I really think if I could bring it into my life it would help me a great deal with my eating issues.

  • Love your tips! I laughed, but the “Hungry” aspect is actually VERY true for me… I also really like the “De-Clutter” idea. I think I get overwhelmed because we have so much STUFF. Great post, thanks for sharing!

  • Melodi Steinberg

    the dog in that photo is absolutely stunning!

  • Nikki @ www.MBAsahm.com

    Wow, Kim, I love this! I just finished reading a book about meditation and it’s really much harder than we all give it credit for! I have never heard of the HALT principle either, but that is absolutely brilliant. I feel like my husband gets the brunt of that one! <3 I really love all of this advice…staying creative is important too…more than just staying busy 🙂 Thanks for this! <3

  • So many wonderful ideas! I am bookmarking this post! Thanks for the great tips!

  • Aisha Leuthardt

    Loved this whole post. Great tips. Thanks for sharing! One thing I need to do more of is walking away from situations that are making me upset. I have gotten better at it but I still need some work!

  • Absolutely love this series, keep them coming!

  • Great tips, Kim! Sharing 🙂 #BLMGirl

  • These are some great tips!

  • Kasi Perkins

    Great advice! I’m definitely working on being slow to speak, quick to listen right now. By biggest challenge is de-cluttering my space! But I’m working on it!

  • 65 comments, clearly you’ve struck a chord! And I’m not surprised. I read a lot of blogs. A lot a lot. And I haven’t come across a post on this topic—it’s SO GOOD. I’m a Christian Life Coach and this post is very much centered on similar ideals. Now I’m off to check out the rest of the series! Really, really well done 🙂